Innuendo
by Pizzagames
Summary: Kamina invites Simon to a manly campfire after lights-out, and the conversation quickly gets out of hand.


Simon pulled his goggles off his face and wiped away the sheet of sweat from his brow. It had been a particularly hard day at work. The chief was already telling the villagers it was lights out time, so judging by the time Simon had begun drilling, he had been working for about... all day. He didn't mind though; an extra long day meant an extra juicy pork steak for his efforts. As he walked to his home, Simon made sure there were no distractions. He didn't want get yelled at by the chief for being out past lights out.

Simon wasn't really on the chief's bad side, but that was quickly becoming the case ever since Kamina and him became "bros". Kamina was well past the point of being on the chief's bad side, which made getting in trouble with Kamina and his gang a hundred times worse. Their latest escapade had not only gotten them each into solitary confinement, but their food rations had been reduced to a quarter of what they had been for an entire week. Simon didn't have parents to stop him for hanging out with "bad influences", but he was smart enough to know he he shouldn't follow Kamina around like he did. Despite that, he still admired him. The way the man carried himself, the way he commanded respect and attention, it was something Simon could only dream of doing.

Unfortunately, Simon didn't feel like feel like getting into trouble that night. He was tired and the only person that capable of causing a ruckus at that time of night was-

"Hey, Simon!" Kamina called enthusiastically from somewhere behind him. Simon considered just pretending like he didn't hear, but for one everyone in a 5 mile radius could hear him, and he was sure Kamina wouldn't let that slide.

"Hey, bro," Simon responded with some reluctance. He turned to see his mentor walk briskly toward him, looking excited. That could only mean it was time for another ridiculous outing.

"Come on, Gurren Brigade's having a get together tonight," said Kamina, jerking his thumb toward a nearby alley.

"B-but bro! It's lights out! What if we get caught?"

"So we get caught! I don't care about what that old fart'll do if he busts us," Said Kamina, a bit too loudly. People walking to their own homes were starting to stare as the two made their way to the rendevous point. Simon looked away from the piercing gazes and could only hope the chief had left the area so he wouldn't hear what Kamina had just said.

"What exactly are we doing?" Simon asked in a whisper.

"I told you, just gonna hang out with some friends," replied Kamina, making it obvious that he didn't know the definition of the word quiet.

When the duo arrived at the meeting place, there was already a small fire lined with rocks in the center. Simon wondered if the guys cared that their little fire was illegal, especially at this hour. A slight cheer rose from the gathering of men as Kamina entered the scene.

"'Bout time you showed up," said a man with deep violet dreadlocks.

"Alright, Kamina's here!" cheered a man with an array of rings on each finger.

"Ah, Kamina, I assume you don't still don't have that fifty bucks you owe me," said an older man who was sporting a black eyepatch. Noticing Simon, his expression softened. "Hey, guys," he called to the others in a significantly less menacing voice. "Simon's here too." It seemed to be more of a warning than an announcement. Kamina noticed the change in atmosphere right away.

"Listen, you bozos! Simon is a man amongst men, and he will be treated as such!" Kamina said, stepping to the side and placing Simon in full view of the men around the fire. "Isn't that right, bro?" He slapped a hand on Simon's back, causing the boy to stumble forward a bit. With a soft thud, the pork steak Simon had earned earlier fell from his jacket pocket to the bare floor.

"Well if you've got food, you're welcome here!" the ringed individual said. Kamina grinned at Simon as he was whisked away toward the fire. He was convinced that Simon would finally break out of his shell tonight. Tossing his share of food into the stock pile, he sat down and happily joined in the conversation.

**oOo**

"...And that one there's from the time I stopped three pig moles that was chasin' some kids down a path." There was a collective 'ooh' as the speaker pulled up the dreads that were hanging on his back. The long purple locks had been hiding a long scar that ran from his left shoulder to mid-back.

"How about you, Simon?" asked Ring-man. "Got any manly battle scars?" He motioned toward the one that traced the arc of his shoulder.

"No..." Simon hesitated. He wasn't used to being the center of attention like this. "Wait, uh, y-yeah..." He pointed to a recently healed wound on his knee. "I was walking home a few days ago and I tripped over Boota here," Simon said, now pointing to the miniature pig mole sitting on his shoulder.

At this, every man except Simon and Kamina burst into a fit of laughter

"Looks like even the youngin over here's been through more than you, eh, Kamina?" the eyepatched man said to a brooding, scarless Kamina.

"Okay, so I'm not all marked up. Big deal." Kamina said bitterly. As another round of chuckling came and went, a devilish smile spread across Kamina's face. "You weasels think you're better, but the scars on my back aren't from battle.."

"I-I don't see anything on his back," Simon confusedly said to eyepatch, who was sitting to his left, over howls of laughter from the other men. "What's so funny?" Eyepatch looked at an amused Rings, who sat to Simon's right. Rings, who had heard Simon's innocent question, patted his shoulder and shook his head.

"Nothing, nothing. Say, Simon, do you have a girlfriend?" he asked.

"No, I'm not interested in girls," Simon replied earnestly.

That statement was met with a cry of shock from each man assembled there.

"Not interested in girls?" Rings asked in disbelief, ignoring Simon's pleading for the group to quiet down.

"Simon! does this mean you're... I mean, it's okay if you choose that lifestyle but-" said Kamina as he pulled his young friend aside from the noisy gathering. Hearing this, eyepatch pivoted to face the two.

"You idiot! He's only a kid!" he growled, smacking Kamina on the back of the head.

"So you're sayin' yeh don't know nothin' bout girls?" Dreadlocks asked. Simon shook his head, suddenly feeling quite ashamed. "Boy, are you missin' out," Dreadlocks muttered with a faraway look in his eyes.

"I don't get it," said Simon, crossing his arms. "There's nothing to know about girls..." He trailed off on account of Kamina and co. staring at him, speechless for once.

"Where to begin," Kamina thought out loud, beckoning Simon to return to his seat in front of the slightly diminished fire. "Women... Women are beautiful creatures, put on this earth to nurture, to inspire, to allow mankind to go on for generations- "

"And that's where we come in," said Rings, suggestively waggling his eyebrows.

"Hold it right there! He doesn't need to hear about that stuff," bellowed Eyepatch as Simon began to turn pink.

"So what can we tell 'im?" asked dreads, annoyed he didn't get to talk about his favorite subject.

"Nothing about _that_," Eyepatch said with an air of finality. Kamina looked over to Simon and noticed he looked rather hurt as the subject changed back to tests of manly courage.

**oOo**

"I want to know what you guys were talking about," Simon suddenly demanded. Kamina raised a blue eyebrow.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Um, before we left, the guy with the eyepatch wouldn't let you talk about... about... " Simon faltered as he searched for a more subtle word.

"Ohhh you wanna know about sex?" Kamina asked. Simon nodded, avoiding eye contact. "Damn, Simon! I wasn't even doing it at your age-"

"That's just it!" Simon said, letting frustration get the better of him. "I'm tired of being left out just because of my age! Everyone only sees me as a kid! I want to be treated as a man amongst men!"

"That's the spirit, bro!" said Kamina, cheering him on. "Alright, so what do you wanna know?"

Simon didn't think the conversation would get that far.

"H-how do you... do it?" He asked, voice returning to normal Simon-level. He found himself wishing he had more time to think he question out.

"Well, let's say you've got yourself a girl," Kamina said, crouching down on one knee so that Simon could hear better. "She's sending you these vibes and you've had your eye on her for a while too." He taught, looking into the distance, no doubt thinking of a girl he had currently set his sights on. "What you wanna do first is get her alone, somewhere romantic. You chat her up a bit, make her feel comfortable, then you drop some hints. Maybe talk dirty here and there, y'know, get her in the mood..." Simon nodded, once again turning that uncomfortable shade of pink. He had a strong feeling he didn't know what he had gotten himself into.

"_Get her in the mood for what, Kamina?_"

Both Kamina and Simon felt a cold aura behind them caused a chill to creep up their spines . A voice that malevolent could only belong to one person. The Chief.

"On your mark, get set," Kamina muttered, not looking back, "GO!" He took off at full speed, and Simon did the same.

"HEY-THAT'S IT! SIMON, YOU WORK DOUBLE OVERTIME TOMORROW!" The chief roared.

"I'm really sorry, chief!" he shouted back. He didn't stay to hear Kamina's punishment, but he knew he wouldn't trade this misadventure with Kamina,or any other ones, for all the pork steak in the world.

**oOo**

**A/N:**

**J: This one was all me! So yeah, reviews please :)**


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